Saturday, January 27, 2007

why isit all happening to me and only me? why all at one go? was there smth i done in my past life to deserve all this?

im tired.. these problems come one after another immediately after i return from my trip.. WHY?!

yes, perhaps i've make a mistake. but i really do not noe wat is going on. i do not wan to ASSUME.. im NOT clever enough to noe wat went wrong... I DO NOT NOE WAT I HAVE DONE TO BE IN THE WRONG..

am i really that useless? that naive? that STUPID?! that HATEFUL?! am i that IDOITIC?!

no. i AM usless. i AM naive. i AM stupid. i AM hateful. i AM an idiot!

i cant take it anymore.. i dont think im even thinking straight..

like my heart, this blog is officially DEAD.

1 day. it will nvr come the way i hope it would be.

blogged at 12:07 AM... to be continued...

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Monday, January 22, 2007

i donno wat to blog about today..

im bored.. i need to look for things to do..

i need a new life..

6 days more, and im not feeling any slightest bit of excitement..

am i a useless and disappointing dotter?

i've lost my sense of direction. suddenly i feel so lost. i wanted to go for courses or classes, keep myself occupied.. but i don dare to ask u.. how? yeah its my fault that i spoilt the relationship again.. now i face the consequences.. and it's torturing..

blogged at 11:05 PM... to be continued...

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

my mind is buzzing with choices, options, opinions, course details, etc etc..

so confused.. i shall take things one at a time, while i still can and have the time..

-i don wanna be lonely no more-

7days..

im starting to regret all this.. :(

blogged at 10:45 PM... to be continued...

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Friday, January 19, 2007

i really am very lost le.. i donno wat to do already.. im feeling so helpless.. everything i do is wrong..

isit my fault? or am i jux thinking too much? i guess its the former..

i've been doing a lot of thinking recently.. think until my head so pain.. had nonstop headache every nite..

i wanna wake up from this nitemare..

have i chosen music as a wrong path? im starting to reconsider my options..

i need guidance.. i need help.. i need your love..

blogged at 11:17 PM... to be continued...

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

yes i was in the wrong.. i should not have listened to them n juz do wat i tot was right.. i didnt think of the concequences nor the feelings of the ppl around me..

i was egoistic, self-centred, selfish.. im terrible, i don deserve to be in the world anymore..

i don deserve ur love anymore..

is that wat u're waiting for me to say? if yes, then good bye..

good bye to the world.. good bye everyone..

11 days

blogged at 11:29 PM... to be continued...

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Friday, January 12, 2007

went back to prss today.. they had cca bazzar.. mr png didnt come so we were on our own..

the classes came in one by one n they were allowed to try the instruments that they liked.. after the 3rd class came in, we started playing songs as a band, for them.. the good thing is, we were all seperated into sections and we played without even needing to look at each other to cue together!! lolx.. it was fun.. really fun..

after that went with the guys for dinner (thou i wasnt supposed to have dinner out).. lolx.. n left early with shaun.. wha he super depressed.. haix.. 'its jux the beginning.. give it some time k? :)'

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Never Had Dream Come True

Oooo...

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

chorus
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Chorus

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, oh baby
You'll always be the one I know, I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

Chorus

A part of me will always be with you..

my heart shatters everytime i think about you and the times we had.. all i want for my birthday is really, YOU

blogged at 8:27 PM... to be continued...

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

i think i finally cleared my doubts about someone, but im not entirely sure...

went to prss today.. SHAFI CAME! haha.. long time no see mann! lolx.. the members did drill, with instruments.. i finally got to see how terrible percussion is when marching with instruments... lolx.. ok la.. not so bad for first timers.. but still need a bit of practice lor.. its no easy job, marching and playing a the same time..

toml got cca bazzar.. donno wat the ro has come up with.. so.. see how lor.. din feel like going toml but wei qian needs my band t so no choice lor.. got to drop by..

its been raining the whole day.. n its so.. WET!! lolx.. i hate wet-ty wet-ty weather.. haix..

oh i need to buy new slippers.. shit.

17 days to go!

blogged at 10:52 PM... to be continued...

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

woke up quite late today.. but did stuff too..

went to have lunch n headed for bedok.. went to the cash converters store to see if they had any second hand flute.. the last time i saw, there was a flute selling at $700+ thats almost as good as brand new.. but forgot the brand..

then went to the bedok library.. n i FINALLY FOUND THE BOOK I ALWAYS WANTED TO READ!!! lolx.. the undomestic goddess :D haha..

headed back to tampines to run errands for my mom.. go check out prices of some things as popular bookstore at tampines mall.. then went to tampines mart to do the same thing.. then finally headed home, plopped myself in front of the com n chatted and blog.. hehe..

bro's birthday on 13th this saturday.. n he wants to celebrate with his frens.. ok lor.. win le.. haix.. donno wat to get him for his bdae too.. think think think!!!!

only left 80+ days to syf le.. all the bands have stepped up their training intensities.. but not everyone is liking wat they're going through... read lotsa members' blogs from all 3 bands that i noe.. majority expressed that they are not ready for syf n stuff.. they are worried.. ok yes, u ought to be worried.. but getting all worried n doing nth abt it is as good as not taking part in the competition in the first place.. stop sulking, find out wats wrong, and get down to it.. u don have all the time in the world.. if u want the gold, go get it..

toml prss have practice.. probably going down ba.. should be la..

18 days to go!

blogged at 6:28 PM... to be continued...

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

someone asked if i am upset, or juz bored.. he said 'u don seem happy' and that 'u seem lost'.. well am i? i donno. i think so.

maybe im stressed over my upcoming grade 8 exam, which at this point of time, is a sure fail.. maybe im lost as to whether to learn the flute.. or maybe im juz plain upset that i still cant forget him.. i donno wat i am thinking at times, n when that someone asked me that qsn it really got me thinking wat i really want at this point of time.. not that i don wanna work anymore or wat, but perhaps i need to start something or improve certain things that i do currently, be it the way i teach or the way i talk or even the way i think..

i donno la.. maybe im jux lost... ah ya.. don even noe how i feel now.. or wat im thinking..

still looking for the second hand instrument.. hmmm...

19 days to go...

blogged at 11:05 PM... to be continued...

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Monday, January 08, 2007

anyone noe where got sell second-hand instruments ma?

i still cant find a second-hand flute.. it proves harder than i thought it would be.. haix.. nvm.. settle my grade 8 first.. I FINALLY NOE HOW TO PLAY THE MALLET PIECE!! YAY!!! :D but the timpani pieces are another big headache.. haix..

went to the pasar malam near my house a few nites ago.. i think i fell in love with the waffle hotdog n the forgot-wats-its-name balls.. the jap stall la.. lolx.. but so ex la.. haix..

have to go changkat toml afternoon.. hmmm... :)

20 days to go!!

im still holding on to that little glimmer of hope.. i tot i forgot abt everything, but i realised i had not.. this time, it hurt even more.. i really cant do without u...

blogged at 3:26 PM... to be continued...

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